Mannn. I haven't updated this shit in so long.

Let me kick back and type of a life story.

Well, recently, I've just been studying my ass off. School has been killing me. I'm doing average-poor in my classes and I know I sure as hell could do better. I don't feel as passionate about it as I should though. I think for spring semester, I'm just going to take four easy classes, and kind of kick it back a little bit. Taking sciences and math at the same time just doesn't cut it.  Hello to being a teacher.

As for spare time, it's been rockin! In the spare time that I dig up for myself, I've managed to branch out and join a club at UWF. It's called the Progressive Student Alliance and it's probably the most amazing thing I've done so far as far as college goes. Through joining this club, I've learned alot, and branched out alot. Making new friends is always fun. We have been, and still are, talking about fair trade and it's advantages. Planning on showing a documentary on the market for coffee coming up, and we're gonna set up a table and give away fair trade coffee. It's gonna be sweet.

I'm really excited about fall being here. The cold weather brings back memories of when things were ideal. In the grand scheme, this is kind of, well.. extremely depressing, but I'm hoping that everyone will keep their chins up. I'm happy to be able to wear sweaters again, and I'm really, really stoked on making apple cider.


Elections are coming up! Obama '08! It makes me happy that, when I wore my Obama/Biden shirt to class today, I was seeing smiles. I also couldn't help but listen in on conversations regarding Obama. I didn't hear one negative thing!

Also, one of my best friends weddings is coming up. Nervous about that, but shit'll work out.

Hope everyone has been well.

Ahhh, sweet Livejournal. It has been so long that I've been without you.

Life has been so amazing to me lately. I've finally gotten into a relationship where I actually feel comfortable. I can be myself around him and not have to worry about anything. And he's a great influence, not a drinker or a smoker. So sweet to me, and he treats me the way I need to be treated. Instead of going and doing stupid, immature and irrational things, we sit around and play old school Playstation and watch the Travel Channel. Instead of going and blowing all of our money, we wander around downtown or at Walmart. And I've never had anyone sing to me and mean it as much as he does. I really, truly, one hundred percent couldn't be happier with this. I don't want to lose it.


As far as school goes, I've still see-sawing between majors. I could change it back to GenEd, which would put me with 3 or 4 more classes until I get my AA, or I can switch to Education, and I'd be stuck for another few years. I can't make up my mind. I hate college, and the responsibility, but without it, I wouldn't have straightened up this much. I'm glad to atleast say I'm enrolled and dedicated.


I've come to realize lately the people that I actually love in my life and the people who are just dead weight. I've realized that life means more than partying and staying out late. I've realized that it's time for <b>me</b> to grow up, get a career started, and drive away from this town blowing dust into the faces of those who are too fucked up to notice I've left. When it comes down to it, there are those who have the drive and those who never will. I'm glad I've finally gotten my whole self over the fence and totally motivated. As silly and 'straight' as it may sound, I don't need drugs or alcohol to be a part of my life. I'm perfectly content feeling clean all the time. 


I've been trying to meet more people in this god forsaken town that I can socialize with but it's really hard when half of them are either really stuck-up or really heavy partiers. It'll happen eventually. ANYONE WANNA HANG?

 I feel lke crap. And part of me is questioning society now. Maybe I should do the hermit thing again, eh? I'm on the hunt for a new job at the moment, hopefully can find that soon.

It has been 3 days since the accident and I still feel horrible. I couldn't study last night due to zombie state, and all those equations this morning looked like jibber jabber to me due to lack of sleep. I'm trying to convince myself, and everyone else, that it'll be okay. Truth is, I don't know if it will. When I look at Leslie, I feel like daggers are piercing my heart. When I look at Sam, and Katie, I feel the same way. I'm trying to be silly and stupid and just as always, attempting to lighten to mood though I know it's still on everyones minds even if we're all laughing hysterically. Visitation/wake was today. It was absolutely horrible. I was fine until I walked through the doors, and saw him. He didn't even look like Rufus. He looked like a porcelain doll. Busted out in tears, along with everyone else. Such a depressing day. It hurts me to see all my friends sad, and I know it hurts Rufus too. I picture him sittign up in heaven with some crazy mix drink and a joint, chain smoking, and screaming down at us to stop crying and have a drink. And I did. And it felt good. It's still sad, but it's what he would've wanted. 

I've come to the conclusion that when I pass away, I want my funeral to be hilarious. I don't want tears, I want laughter. I want no makeup, no matter how I pass, with glitter all over my face and huge sunglasses and bright blue lipstick. I want someone to put an UNLIT! cigarette in my mouth and bury me with a case of beer. I want there to be happiness. I don't want people to cry over me. No one does. It's hard, but ... 



Dear Rufus,
             We really miss you man. I was drinking a High Life tonight and I'm hoping you're up there drinking one too. I love you.


- Amanda

One piece bathing suits are in again! Yay! I love them, always have, more than tankinis and defiiiiinitely more than bikinis. It's such a classic look. I always think fifties/sixties or the eighties and Claudia Schiffer circa 1980's in her white swimsuit. One piece! I've found quite a few I like, butt.. decisions will not be made immediately at all because honestly, I have a swimsuit, and there's definitely not anything wrong with it, so I'd just be psfftttiing my money away. 

Weasled my way out of work today, so I'm going to go hang out with Amber around two or three. Maybe we shall pack a picnic of vegetarian goodies because she is my vegetarian friend. I made a yummy tofu snack last night, might try it again.

BUT! Time for class, weeee.

 Ohhhh what a glorius, beautttttttttttttiful day. Time to take pup to the bay and bask in rays and maybe I'll just sit and read for a bit. =]

I wish that the sun wouldn't set and it'd be this nice out for the next 10 hours.

Lately, I've felt like people just don't want to be around me. I guess if I was a horrible person, I could understand that, but I'm not . The phone works both ways, and I've tried to to call all of my friends with no luck. There are maybe two people that have actually hung out with me lately that I've called. Sometimes my friends make me feel like an idiot for talking, because they don't say anything back. Am I wasting time? Sorry if I'm an inconvenience in your life. Sometimes I just feel like my old friends are slipping away. Sad, but it is part of life. I can stay at home and paint and read all day forever, that's fine with me. A little human interaction would be nice, but, hey.. can't always get what I want.


On a brighter note, I've completely switched to the vegetarian lifestyle. It's healthier for me in the condition that I am in, and plus, I'm feeling alot better since I haven't eaten meat, as far as my body goes. I wake up in the morning, pour a glass of soy milk, make some toast or something, go to class, come home & eat a yummy little lunch, and then come up with a kooky idea for dinner. It's quite an awesome diet, yes. And usually, at night, I'll find myself doing a workout of some sort. 

Also, when I was at Walmart last night getting some more soy milk, I noticed how many organic things they've started to carry. I think it's ridiculous knowing how Walmart is behind closed doors. I read about it when I got home and apparently they're trying to "up urban appeal". Yeah, instead of promoting healthy eating, we want to make our store look good. Makes me want to not shop at Walmart anymore . Unfortunately, I have to. They're so cheap! I fail.

ALSO! Why are there so many pomegranate things on the market that DON'T TASTE LIKE POMEGRANATE? You trendy fruit, you.

Oh, and .. yoga on thursday!

I' m seriously thinking about taking a class this week at a yoga studio downtown. I was just messing around today and doing this quick little yoga workout and I realized, I'm not flexible at all. So, the classes are offered all week and I'm gonna hit one up. I need to be active again, anyway. Yoga just makes me feel good.

Also, gonna start cooking more vegetarian foods in the house. That is extremely exciting for me. =]

Hope everyone is doing well. I have to go to work in an hour and suffer for seven hours. >.<